representations

How much does one represent themselves, or what they stand for, in every day life?  I often wonder, as I encounter many different people each day, who really thinks about what they represent through their dress or jewelry they wear, and how they act seems like a representation of that.  I don't know if it is necessarily the right thing to do, and I wonder what are other people's views on this?

I know when I go to the store after work, in my Sprint uniform, I make a conscious effort to act kind and courteous because face it - when you wear something with your "brand" on it, you are representing that company.  Say I went to Target after work, and something didn't go right and I made a huge stink about it... what are they going to remember? They aren't going to remember "that person who had a fit," no no, they will remember "That person who works at Sprint who had a fit."  Suddenly, their impression of Sprint may be tainted because of my actions.  Maybe I don't have a fit, but perhaps I just have a downright lousy attitude.  What if I was short with someone who was helping me and just acting "holier than thou" - I still think this is a representation of who I work for if I'm wearing my work clothes.  If I showed up there with my shirt on and a bad attitude, they probably think "Man, what got into that person.  Sprint must be awful if she shows up here acting in such a foul mood."  I make a very conscious effort, however, not to act like my above mentioned scenarios. Especially in my work clothes.  I don't want to deter someone away that could possibly come and buy from me! In fact, I want them to receive a good impression from me so they want to come see me again. I just used myself and Sprint as an example, but I believe the same goes with other parties as well.

On this same line of thought... how does it appear when someone shows up wearing their religious symbol? What got me thinking about this more in recent days were a few encounters with customers at work.  I understand we are all humans, and not all of us are perfect, not of all us  have good days.  Some of us may have really bad days - but if you are going to announce to the world "I'm a Christian," by wearing a cross, or a t-shirt, then one should represent Christ.  After all, proclaiming your faith through a symbol for others to see is coming off as a representation of Christ. Over the weekend I had not just one, but two sets of customers come in obviously of the Christian faith.  Both had quite miserable attitudes with me.  Each customer acted "holier than thou," neither were very friendly (despite my friendly efforts), and just left a bit of a bad/bitter taste in my mouth.  I couldn't help but think: hey Mister, if you are going to wear that Christian t-shirt, you need to consider your attitude.  Luckily I know my faith, and I know better than to take someone's bad attitude as a representation of the "company" of Christ - however, someone weak in their faith, or with little to no faith, may evaluate that encounter and think "Yeah, look at that hypocritical Christian.  Saying how good they are, yet acting like a jerk to me."  If I am shopping for cell phones, and have a bad experience with someone wearing a T-Mobile shirt, why would I want to go to T-Mobile?  If one is a bit lost in their faith, and has a poor experience with someone wearing a cross necklace, would they have enough sense to be able to move past that?  Unfortunately not, in most cases. The next day I had a lady customer who came through and was acting quite snobby towards me, with her cross right in front of me. The truth is, most people judge off first impressions.  Whether you like it or not, it's the truth. I'd love to see people holding themselves more accountable.  If one is going to wear a symbol (cross, company logo), that represents who they work for, then one should act in a way that represents the company!

I think we all need to remember this next time we are out somewhere wearing a symbol that represents who we are, or what we believe in. Next time before you put on that cross necklace and start interacting with people, perhaps one can ask themselves, "How does this make me look, and my belief system look?"  Turn thins around... look at how YOU would feel if you were on the other side looking at YOU.

Graduation thoughts

I received my degree in January.  As exciting as it was, I'm thrilled I decided to do the actual commencement ceremony.  Originally, the only reason I did this was to make my mom happy.  Now I'm glad she made me because it felt so darn good walking across that stage in the cap and gown!  There really is something to walking across that stage and shaking hands with the head of your college as you take your degree.  Joseph Campbell wrote extensively on the importance of rituals and how it transforms a person.  We need rituals in our lives push us to the next stage of life.  I can see, no, feel, the importance in the commencement ceremony/ritual.  Having already had my degree for five months, I thought it would just be some typical walk across the stage, but I really was beaming that I received some acknowledgement from a crowd.  I didn't care if only six people in the crowd knew who I was, but gosh darn-it every person in that center knew MARLANA WEBER graduated with her Bachelor's Degree!  You may not know my story or anything about me, but I did it, and you know it!  Afterwards, I swear I was standing taller and felt a little smarter.  I feel initiated into some deluxe group of the college educated.

It really is inspiring to see those higher-ups give their fancy speeches.  Maybe now that we are educated people, we can sit and appreciate what these people are saying to us.  Maybe it's because we just spent the last 2-4 years of our lives working towards this degree, and we sit there and think "You darn well have something good to say to me!"  Perhaps they realize this is a huge milestone in our lives, and as anyone crossing that threshold in our life's journey realizes it may be terrifying and therefore are trying to give us some words to encourage us on our next steps.  I felt the pride when our President explained how great of a school National University really is: second best non profit school in California, twelfth in the nation.  I found comfort hearing Ben Stein, our guest speaker, tell us how important it is to never stop learning, and that it is our own hard work and determination, all of which we just displayed, that will get us through the hard times our society faces now.  Now that we have our degrees, nobody can take away what we learned -- EVER!  Better yet, we have this amazing knowledge and can share that with the world.  Whether it is in our own personal world, or if we become world leaders one day, we have this amazing gift of knowledge to share.  It makes me realize, I don't want to stop learning, and just because I have my degree doesn't mean I need to stop learning either. The world is filled with opportunities for us to grow and learn, and to share that with others.   We don't have to go back to college to learn, necessarily, there are plenty of ways we can learn each day.  This may sound cliche, but we really are the future!

The world needs us. When I look around and see so many people who have just thrown their hands up, while, at times, I can't blame them, I also realize that's not what our society needs right now.  What we need is a hero, and we are all heroes.  Each and every once of us faces a challenge every day; we face big challenges many times in our lives.  Every time we conquer that challenge, we learn something; we cross the threshold and have new knowledge, a boon, to share the with the world (or at least those around us).  That makes us a hero in our own right!  You are probably looking at me like I'm crazy now, thinking, "Marlana, I am not some super hero who saved the world."  Yet, you are!  Any accomplishment you celebrate is something big to you, and conquering that changes you.  In Campbell's theory, that makes you a hero.  You cross a threshold, you conquer what needed to be conquered, you return a hero, and now, most importantly, it is time for you to share that with those around you.

Who knew how much that first class in my English program would transform me? As hesitant as I was, I stepped back into the world of school.  I was excited and nervous all in the same breath.  This Myth, Metaphor, and Symbol class really taught me not just about myths, but about life.  I am sure God has his ways of knowing how to teach us, and by learning about The Hero's Adventure in my first class, it opened my eyes to understanding the importance of our struggles, how we must fight those things that hold us back, and when we do, we emerge a transformed person.  Step by step, those triumphs make us who we are.  When facing challenges during my classes, I could think back to Joseph Campbell's teachings and know this is just one challenge in my adventure. If I can just get to my inner strength, my physical strength, my mental strength, and pull all my resources, it will pay off.

I'm proud to say, it did.  I'm here.  I'm proof.  I made it through!

Basically, we have crossed that threshold, we need to take pride in our accomplishments, and from Campbell's perspective, it is time to step up and be the heroes we have become.

"The modern hero, the modern individual who dares to heed the call and seek the mansion of that presence with whom it is our whole destiny to be atoned, cannot, indeed must not, wait for his community to cast off its slough of pride, fear, rationalized avarice, and sanctified misunderstanding. 'Live,' Nietzsche says, 'as though the day were here.'" 

- Joseph Campbell, The Hero with a Thousand Faces

ONWARD!

M

Thanks to all my "supernatural aid" ... I couldn't have done it without you: Patrick, Mom, Dad, Elijah, AJ, Christy, and of course all my professors and teachers.

People that inspire

Advanced warning: No proof reading was done here. It is an emotional spill. Proceed with caution.

Sometimes the world doesn't make sense. Do you ever question why things happen? Why do certain things happen to people? Why do people act the way they do? I suppose it is the question of our life and we'll only find out when it is all done.

I've been quiet the past couple weeks. Not only were things busy with work, but I suppose I just needed some quiet time.

I'm sure if we all had to think about it, we could come up with a few people that helped shape our lives. Those few people that, without them, you'd wonder where you'd be today? One of my favorite teachers, my Middle College High School English teacher, Susan Plesko, passed away. She was a total inspiration to me. Without her, I don't know if I would have pursued my degree in English. A few years ago we "reunited" over Facebook. It was wonderful. I got to tell her how much she meant to me and how she was a huge influence in pursuing in my degree in English. In the English program, I found my niche. I felt like I belonged. Over the couple years I adored swapping stories to read and catching up with Mrs. Plesko (you know, people like that will always be Mrs. Plesko). A couple weeks ago I went to share something on her Facebook wall that I knew she would like... all to discover her obituary posted by her son.

Me: Devastated.

When she was my MCHS teacher, she was battling breast cancer. Can you believe this amazing woman would go to her chemo treatments, then come to teach us? The whole time, she would show up to work. Her will power and passion was incredible. When I found out she was battling cancer again, I thought for sure she would beat it just like last time. It didn't seem possible that she was gone. Immediately I broke down. To be honest, after that day I haven't wanted to talk much about it, nor even write.

However, the time for mourning has passed... I keep having all these weird dreams that I know are dreams telling me I need to start writing again. Writing is my passion, and it is time to pick up the pen (er... or... keyboard? laptop? the modernized pen & paper?) and get on that "horse" again. After all, John Donne speaks it wonderfully with A Valediction: Forbidding Mourning (one of the poems Mrs. Plesko and I had the pleasure of discussing, as John Donne is by far one of my favorite authors)... even though the poem is about two lovers forbidding to mourn while he travels away on business -- Donne, the genius he is -- has a way of helping it relate to all our lives:

As virtuous men pass mildly away,

And whisper to their souls to go,

Whilst some of their sad friends do say,

"The breath goes now," and some say, "No,"

So let us melt, and make no noise,

No tear-floods, nor sigh-tempests move;

And I had a Gilgamesh moment where I questioned everything...

But Gilgamesh said to Siduri, the young woman,

'How can I be silent,

how can I rest,

when Enkidu whom I love is dust,

and I too shall die

and be laid in the earth for ever.'

Nevertheless, I must remember (from Donne):

One short sleep past, we wake eternally,

And death shall be no more; Death, thou shalt die.

Meanwhile, as I'm still here (from Epic of Gilgamesh)...

'Gilgamesh, where are you hurrying to?

You will never find the life for which you are looking.

When the gods created man

they alloted to him death,

but life they retained in their own keeping.

As for you, Gilgamesh,

fill your belly with good things;

day and night, night and day, dance and be merry,

feast and rejoice.

Let your clothes be fresh,

bathe yourself in water,

cherish the little child that holds your hand,

and make your wife happy in your embrace;

for this too is the lot of man.'

RIP Mrs. Susan Plesko 11/28/45 - 1/30/12

2002

Planning

Mom's work schedule.

Dad's work schedule.

Doctor appointments.

Dance class.

etc.

etc.

etc.

It gets confusing. For me, I put it all in my phone... but sometimes I just need one place to flip through some pages and see what is coming up in the next few weeks or months. Sometimes my dear husband needs a place to look to see what days I am working or not working (especially since my hours can change from day to day).

Today I broke down and bought a family planner. The wall calendar just doesn't cut it. I've finally mad that bold move to become a parent who *gasp* keeps a planner. It's the smart thing to do, don't get me wrong. I just feel so... mom. Like, look at that big girl being all organized. Personally, I am usually pretty good at remembering dates and times in my head, but I came the realization that not everyone is like that! Plus, I'm always paranoid I'm going to forget something or mix up a schedule.

I'm proud of myself. And you have to admit, it is cute, isn't it?! I already feel relieved having written down our schedule over the next two weeks in it! It gives me such a better idea of what is coming up.

YAY ME for planning!

Project 365 / Project Life - Jan 29

Fun Stampers Journey Trunk Show, 1/26/12

I went to Richard's Fun Stampers Journey Hesperia Trunk Show last night. We had a fun time and got to make a beautiful card with his new products! Let's just say... o-m-g I'm in love with the whole line. Can I just have it all? I mean really, who needs to pay bills, right? I'm going back next week to pick up a few items... I can't wait!

Check out all the amazing goodies here.

My two shadows, I mean children, came along too. Elijah played with Richard's adorable little boys, Andrew and Matthew, and AJ mostly crafted with me. I was so nervous about bringing them along, but with me working full time I know they like to hang out with me more (even though Elijah ditched me for his friends... LOL!). It was great seeing some old friends, crafting with them and my lil' man. What a great way to spend an evening, crafting with my family and friends! Love it!

Pin It

Rain rain... come back!

Don't you love when weather people hype things up?

Californians: Expect a HUGE storm coming your way! Massive!

We got wind and about 10 minutes of rain.

Really? That's it?! Come on! Last year we got days of rain. I think this was our first rainfall all winter, and all we get is a measly 10 minutes? Man, I want some real rain! We can forget the nasty wind we get and just get a nice rainfall. Ah well. It was nice while it lasted for all of 10 minutes.

When I was at work, the combination of leftover raindrops on the window and the sun shining through the clouds into the window made a fun design. I snapped a picture for my Project 365 challenge.. just something a little different!

Project 365 / Project Life - Jan 23

Sick kiddo

Darn germs and their wild fire ways. You know when you have one sick child, the other is bound to get sick. AJ was sick a couple days ago, and sure enough, today Elijah started coming down with it. It is mostly a cough/cold/chest thing. Not so much a big deal for AJ, but Elijah's lungs are more sensitive to such things. He has had asthma since he was 3 months old, and whooping cough when he was 2 months old. Coughs, nebulizers, and inhalers aren't anything new for me.

Luckily, over the last year or so Elijah's asthma has really been under control. So much that he hasn't even needed his nebulizer. If he did have a little bout of something, he was able to use his inhaler and be done with it. The last time he had an actual albuterol prescription filled for his nebulizer was the end of 09! That one expired end of '10. First thing this morning, once I realized how pitiful he looked and noticed his wheezing, was to call the on-call doctor/pediatrician. Well, first I called Target Pharmacy who said they can't fill it if the drug expired. Fine, I'll call the on call doc. She says have them send over the request to the on call operator. I call them, relay the message. A few hours later, I call back Target Pharmacy for them to say they haven't heard anything. Oy vey. I call the on call operator, again, and talk to the physician assistant, again. After some runaround, I'm told to call target pharmacy (again) and tell them to call the physician assistant so she can fill it. I call them, they say no they won't do that because his prescription is too old. Say what? At this point, I'm fed up with both groups of people, turning into an emotional mess and getting all teary eyed. What I thought would be an easy phone call to fill a medication he obviously needs turned into a frustrating ordeal. I give up, call up the husband and tell him just to give Elijah the inhaler and we'll get the rest straightened out later this week. I'm also ranting and raving about how I'm sick of everyone giving me the run around and yada yada yada.

Around 6, the physician assistant calls me again wondering what happened and why she hadn't heard from Target Pharmacy. I tell her what happened and how I got frustrated playing this middle man between the two parties who couldn't agree on anything. She explains herself, then promptly expresses her extreme frustration with Target Pharmacy pulling this nonsense on a child who has asthma, and calls in a prescription for him at our 24 hour pharmacy Walgreens. Thank you! Sheesh. What frustration. I'm just glad he got what he needed for tonight.

I'm also proud of how well Elijah handled the whole thing. He wore his mask without complaints and handled it like such a big boy! I know he is probably used to it, but it has been a while since we used the noisy nebulizer and I thought he might get upset by the noise. Nope, he was fine! I asked him if he could give a thumbs up if he was doing okay, and he did. Sweet. ;)

Project 365 / Project Life - Jan 22

Weekend photo wrap up

Just a few fun, random photos I got earlier this week but didn't get a chance to share yet.

AJ and our German Shepherd, Bacon. He's such a good dog!! The bond between a little boy and his dog... so sweet!

Precious family time -- the boys reading with Granny.

And totally random... thank you Pinterest! While it didn't come out perfect like the photo on Pinterest, I still love the way it came out.

The Pinterest version:

Source: cupcakesandcashmere.com via Marlana on Pinterest

My version:

My handy man!

A few weeks ago our dryer mysteriously stopped working. It would turn on, it would spin, the light would shine when you opened the door, but it wasn't drying the clothes. Nada. Zip. Zilch. Soaking wet. It wouldn't have been so bad if it was during the middle of summer when it is easier to hang dry clothes, but no no, it had to go out right smack in the middle of winter.

A few years ago it stopped working on us, an we paid just over $100 to have somebody come out and fix it within 5 minutes. Uhm... thanks dryer repair dude? This time Patrick and I said, "Forget that! We'll fix it ourselves!" I googled how to repair a dryer. I found this awesome website: RepairClinic.com. For real, any time you need to fix something in your house... check out this site first. They have it all!

Me, however, being the woman I am (don't shoot me feminists!), I opened up the dryer -- which I had a very proud moment I could even figure out how to get the front panel off. I beamed in triumph as I pulled it off. I sat down to peak what was going on underneath the dryer. Staring inside at the layer of dust bunnies, wires, and other crazy contraptions, I laughed and thought, "Who was I kidding?!" and told Patrick, "Forget it! I'm calling the repair man!"

While I was at work, he decides to check out RepairClinic.com for himself, then texts me a little while later saying he thinks he figured out what the problem is. I thought, "Oh boy, here we go... brace myself for the cost." When he told me how the part was, I fell out of my chair... in relief! Only $30!! That's it?! He already ordered it and was ready to place it in. Something about an igniter being broken. That would explain no heat, right? He even cleaned out the layer of dust bunnies. Despite the fact I chickened out at looking underneath the dryer, I was beaming with pride that my man was able to figure it out! What a handy man.

A couple nights ago our piece came in, Patrick placed it in right away, and voila, we have a working dryer again!! I was so proud -- and being me so camera happy -- I had to take a picture of him. It was pretty cool seeing him figure out how to do that by himself... and he saved us $100!!

People are crazy :)

"God is great, beer is good, and people are crazy."

I love that song from Billy Currington. If you haven't heard it, you can check out the YouTube video.

Elijah had an ear appointment today down the hill in San Bernardino. The last time I took him there we were way early, so him and I had a lunch date at IHOP. Even though that was five months ago, of course he remembers! He asked at the appointment if we could go to the restaurant after. I said if he listens to the doctor and behaves then we can go (that went for AJ as well!). They were both good and as their reward, we went to IHOP just around the corner from his ENT doctor's office. I kept asking him if he was sure he wanted to eat there, because lately he has also asked about Red Robin. He was sure he wanted to eat at IHOP. Fine by me!

We pull up to IHOP and it is just after 4:00pm. The parking lot was nearly empty and as I glanced at the clock, I thought we probably even beat the early bird special. When we go inside there are only two other people sitting at a table together, a man sporting a long beard accompanied by a young gal (looked like his daughter). The boys and I are seated at a table a few rows down. We order our meal, the boys are playing and we're minding our own business. About 10 minutes later I see an elderly gentleman come in and sitting alone. It's funny how oddly aware you are of being one of three groups of people in a restaurant. It makes the restaurant seem so much smaller without the usual filled booths. I would have thought that sitting in there with so few people would make the restaurant seem bigger, but instead it made me oddly aware of who was around me and how easily I could see from wall to wall. I suppose when the restaurant is filled with people, you don't pay nearly as much attention to them.

Why are people crazy, you ask?

The first to leave is the man with the beard. I notice him say something quietly to the waiter before they leave but I don't think much of it. About 10-15 minutes after that man leaves, I overhear our waiter telling the elderly gentleman that the man with the beard sitting at the booth by the window paid for his meal. The waiter says, "He didn't want me to tell you until after he left, but he wanted to pay for your meal." I thought that was the sweetest thing I heard and realized how kind that was of the other man.

A moment later, the waiter walks up to me, and says, "I just wanted to let you know, the man that was sitting over here with the beard paid for your meal and the other gentleman's over there. He didn't want me to tell you until after he left, but he wanted to pay for both your meals." I was speechless. When I overheard the waiter saying the elderly man's meal was paid for, I thought that was kind enough, let alone paying for my meal and Elijah's and AJ's. Somehow I managed to spit out to the waiter how shocked and kind that was. For real, I was speechless. That doesn't happy very often, mind you! I've never had a stranger do such a kind thing like that for me. On the way home, Billy Currington's song "God is great, beer is good, and people are crazy" played through my mind. Granted we aren't talking about a millionaire inheritance, but I continue to think how amazing and kind that man is.

I was so appreciative, I wanted to leave a huge tip for the waiter, even though he wasn't the one who did this kind act. The generosity left me wanting to give more to someone. Unfortunately for me I only had my debit card on me and was planning on adding my tip on the receipt at the end of the meal. When we were leaving, AJ wanted chocolate milk and not regular milk, so I tried to use that as an excuse to get the waiter to ring up something else for me. When I asked him I said I could pay for the extra, but he told me don't worry about it. I hope he saw what I was trying to do and didn't think I was some jerk who was jipping him a tip! However, the least I could do was leave a "Keep Your Tips!" Ron Paul 2012 card on the table for him... :)

AJ chowing down on his burger. He's such a good eater!

Elijah eating his yogurt from his "Create a Face" pancake meal. The booth right behind Elijah's head is where the awesome-generous man was sitting.

On another note, earlier today when I was making the scrapbook page, Elijah decided he wanted to join me in crafting and art. He says, "I'm going to make a butterfly!" and every few minutes was coming to me for advice or assistance about his butterfly. In the end, he did it all himself and I just helped him by cutting the ribbon/string for his butterfly and we put some glue dots to hold it down. He is so proud of this butterfly. It's so sweet! When I asked if I could take a picture of him with it (Hello, Project Life!), he beamed with pleasure! He was even so proud of his art that he asked to tape it by his bunk bed. So sweet. :) Little man likes to craft and be artsy just like his Mama and Daddy!

Project 365 / Project Life - Jan 10

Proud moments

Ever look at something and think of how proud and privileged you are to have certain people in your life? Without those special loved ones, life wouldn't be the same. Seeing the passion of others makes me realize how much each person touches us every day; how each person and what they do, or the way they express their passion brings a smile to my face. I'm touched by some of those moments this evening.

My wonderful husband sketching little monster designs... I love his art and the excitement he has for design. He inspires me to continue pursuing what I love every night. As he sits and sketches, it reminds me to sit and write. Even if it is just a sentence or two, the point is to just keep writing... just keep doing what we are passionate about.

Project 365 / Project Life - Jan 9

Check out this awesome little video from my good friend Max (--MAXIMUS!-- picture me saying that all Gladiator style). This video makes me so proud that he is a friend in our lives, and even more proud that he is Adam's Godfather. What a wonderful inspiration AJ has to look to as his Godfather. This evening, as Patrick and I were talking, we were expressing our disappointment over the current state our country is in. I look at the unemployment rate around us, so many struggling, and see everything says "Made in China," -- it is disheartening. I ordered an NFL jersey all to find out... where is it shipping from? China. (We can't even make an NFL jersey here? Really?!)

We're very passionate about the Ron Paul 2012 campaign. In fact, I should kick myself a bit more to blog about it. Seeing this video with Max in it makes my heart leap and gives me such encouragement that there are people out there who still care about our country. There are people out there willing to fight to better our lives in America. Seeing Max's devotion and love inspires me. Every time I'm feeling a little down about the state of the world, I can turn to something from him and feel that fire burning inside me again to push for what we believe in.

I hope some people can take two minutes to check out this video!

The powerful play goes on

One of the greatest letters ever received...

Project 365 / Project Life - Jan 8

After all the blood, sweat, and tears -- (okay, more like writer's cramp, Starbucks, and tears) -- I see all my hard work paid off. It all went to this moment, seeing that glorious "Congratulations!" Still, I remember feeling like the day of -no more school- would ever come. It feels good to say, "I'm a college graduate." I'm smart and I've worked my ass off the last few years working for this.

Everyone asks, "What are you going to do now?" Sometimes I simply respond, "What do you mean What are you gonna do now??" -- Exactly what I am doing! What is so wrong with working in a retail job? It's a good job, something new every day, good benefits, friendly coworkers, and pretty decent pay as far as I'm concerned. I suppose it is beyond some people that working so hard for my degree wasn't really about "What are you going to do now?" -- it was about personal achievements. It was a goal I set for myself years ago and I didn't want to fail. I loved learning all along the way. Within the English program, I discovered who I am. I found my bliss. Sure, having my degree may (or may not) help advance me in the working world, but that's not what my goal was about.

I don't understand how some people view: career = life. What I do for a living is not who I am. Therefore, getting my degree is not necessarily about where it will take me in the future. While it may help, it was something I needed to do for me. I love the satisfaction of saying that I am a college graduate. I'm smart; I made it; I worked so hard for this and now I have achieved it.

In response to: "What are you going to do now?"

I'm going to revel in my triumph of attaining my BA in English.

I'll also flaunt my knowledge of poetry and leave you with a beautiful poem from Walt Whitman that sums up life:

O Me! O life!... of the questions of these recurring;

Of the endless trains of the faithless—of cities fill’d with the foolish;

Of myself forever reproaching myself, (for who more foolish than I, and who more faithless?)

Of eyes that vainly crave the light—of the objects mean—of the struggle ever renew’d;

Of the poor results of all—of the plodding and sordid crowds I see around me;

Of the empty and useless years of the rest—with the rest me intertwined;

The question, O me! so sad, recurring—What good amid these, O me, O life?

Answer.

That you are here—that life exists, and identity;

That the powerful play goes on, and you will contribute a verse.

....

Indeed, Walt. I will contribute my verse.

Hello Bunk Beds

Farewell Convertible Crib...

Hello Bunk Beds!

Project 365 / Project Life - January 4

We finally did it. We got brave enough to move the boys to bunk beds. They are thrilled over their new beds. It is like a playground in their room. I can't get over how much extra space they seem to have now. Of course, with the rearranging of a new bed comes the rearranging (and purging) of all the stuff in their room. (Now I'm straight-up exhausted after it all).

What boggles my mind is the question... when did my babies turn into little boys? It's bittersweet seeing the convertible crib come out of the room. I'm excited for their new adventures into bunk beds, but it's a little sad knowing your little ones don't need that little bed anymore. I try to cope by looking at the adventures that are ahead. Elijah got a new Cars 2 blanket for Christmas, so AJ got to pick out a new blanket for their bunk beds. Instead of dwelling on the sadness of seeing the cutesie sheets and blankets with puppies and stars, I decide to count my blessings that I have two little boys growing strong and having the precious chance to grow into boys who are getting Cars blankets -- and for AJ -- Captain America!

I wonder how other parents cope with their little ones turning into big kids? 'Tis part of life, I suppose!

The Cat Whisperer

Adam James - The Cat Whisperer

Project 365 / Project Life - January 3

When Adam was a few months old, we came across these two kittens. We named them Mio & Mao -- if any of you ever watch Baby First TV channel with your kids, you'll understand the name of these kittens inspired from claymation kittens.

Adam and Mio developed a special bond together. Mio would snuggle with AJ all the time, and AJ would love Mio's snuggles. Now, I'll add here that AJ had terrible reflux as a baby and was cranky all.the.time. Suddenly, we came across this miracle cat who calmed AJ down. As they grew more comfortable together, Mio even started sleeping (gasp!) in AJ's crib with him. However, he would never get near his face, he'd lay by his legs and purr away while AJ would fall asleep with his hand on Mio.

I wonder if it started with Mio, or if AJ naturally has a special bond with cats, or maybe a little of both?

Poor Mio passed away almost a year ago (February 2010). We've had many pets come and go, but that was a tough loss, especially knowing how close AJ and Mio were. For AJ's 3rd birthday, we adopted two new kittens (one for AJ and one for Elijah). A few weeks ago we found another kitten under the house. AJ adores all the cats. He plays with them, he feeds them, he carries them around the house. The most amazing part, they all put up with him! I'm sure you can create a glorious image in your mind of a little boy carrying around a cat like a rag doll. However, the cats just love him, and he loves them!

Needless to say, AJ has a new name around the house, he's "AJ the Cat Whisperer."

Blind Date

I spent the last two years working towards my degree in English. I started at National University in January 2010. It felt like forever until my completion date would come. Here I am, two years later, and a college grad. (Whoohoo!)

Besides the support of my family, of course, I would have never made it through without my girlfriend. One day I got a friendly email from a classmate and over time we got to chatting through our emails, then we started texting, then one day we started talking on the phone. Before we realized it, we became incredibly close and started sharing everything together. We went through all our ups and downs of life, our trials and tribulations of school together, encouraged each other when we had those moments of, "I can't do this anymore!", and celebrated our victories of good grades. The funny thing about all this, though? We never met! National University is an online school. We lived two hours away from each other and never had the chance to meet up. Our schedules never worked out so we could see each other face to face. Not even a picture. Meeting up felt like a blind date. Apparently both of us were nervous what to wear, what the other one looks like, and --God forbid-- will it be awkward?!

We fretted over nothing. It was wonderful!! It felt like we were meant to be there the whole time. Destiny, I tell you, destiny!

Now that we are both done, we agreed, it is time to finally meet. We laughed how we consider each other one of our closest friends, yet don't even know what the other looks like! I'm so happy to say that on Friday we finally met each other!

We had a wonderful lunch together as we toasted our accomplishment over a glass of champagne!

Blog Hop

Freedom!

I am officially DONE with school! Last week I finished my last final and turned in that last paper, and now I am a college graduate! It is surreal to sit here with nothing school related on my mind. It's like, my whole life I feel like everything revolved around school and it was never going to end. In particular, the last 2.5 years working towards my bachelor's degree in English felt like they dragged on and on. Here I am though, all done!

I spent the last days of my studying and writing in Starbucks. What is it about Starbucks that seems to attract us all to do our work and studying there? Coffee? Company, yet solitude? Maybe it is the comfort of a place where you can look around, see other students with their noses buried in books or behind laptops and think, "I'm not alone!" I will admit, my cockiness got the better of me when I looked at everyone else and though, "SUCKERS! I'm done after this and you all probably have another 2-3 years to go! HAH!" (Are you seeing Vizzini from the Princess Bride going, "haha you fools!! HAHAHAHAA!" -- Yes, that's exactly what was playing through my mind).

I love my new freedom! Although it is still tripping me out to not have school in the back of my mind. I feel like I keep forgetting something. What I am excited about though, is finally more time to read books I want to read (albeit, a lot are still classic literature), and write what I want to write on my blog. It's amazing to think I actually have time to write now without feeling guilty that I should be doing something else for school.

And what perfect timing -- just in time to celebrate the holidays stress free!

Insert Mel Gibson voice...

FREEEEEEEDOM!!!

I need to write before my brain turns to mush.

And somebody remind me I need to change my blog banner to working mom, not stay home mom!!!

I passed my English Capstone class, HOORAY! I got a 95% on my paper! I am so incredibly proud of myself that I can't even find the words to express my excitement. Hey, that really says something when the English major can't find the words! It is surreal that there is only one class left. My girlfriend/BFF I've made in this program just finished her last class this month, and now it only makes me more excited for December to scream out: I'm done! We're already planning our celebration in San Diego. I think confetti and champagne is in order for December.

October has been a bit crazy. You'd think it would have settled down because I don't have my class to worry about, right? No! Sprint now carries the iPhone, so we ended up swamped at work in preparation for the iPhone. The good thing is I'll have a bit of overtime on my next pay check. Of course, Apple didn't make enough of the new iPhone 4S, so nobody has it anymore and we're all anxiously awaiting more to come in.

There was a point this month though that I swore I'd never eat an apple again.... (hardy har har!)

You know, the funny thing about working in retail... while I'm reading on Facebook everyone boo-hoo-ing over it being a Monday, today is my Friday so I'm rejoicing! Tuesday & Wednesday are my days off, yippee! I have grand plans you know, it consists of coffee, Dr. Pepper, and book 3 of The Hunger Games. I can't friggen wait!

By the way, where is fall? I mean REALLY, it is still in the 80s here. I shouldn't complain much because I know in a month it'll drop to freezing... but come on! It's almost Halloween and it is still HOT?! Oh well, I'm still excited for Halloween coming up. Look how cute my little knights are!

One to go!

My apologies for my absence! First, I hurt my finger, and then I was worried about finish my thesis paper for my Literature Capstone class. Nearly 20 pages later, and I'm done! Hooray! That was by far the longest paper I have ever written. I really had to force myself to put everything on hold and focus on the paper. Basically, my life for the last month was paper, work, family, paper, work, family. Haha! I'm proud to say it is DONE! I don't have the final grade yet... but I will be updating as soon as I find out.

Work is going great. I really enjoy the job, the environment, my coworkers, everything! One of my favorite things about retail is there is always something new every day. In particular in the technology field, there almost IS something new every day! Even day to day, you see new faces, get to talk with all sorts of people, and have something different happen each time. It's fun. People have always called me crazy that I actually enjoyed working in retail. What can I say, I like to talk and I'm a people person; I'm perfect for a retail job!

My boys are adjusting much better than I thought they would. I think my going back to work has helped us all. The extra income is great and I don't feel nearly as stressed as I used to, which in turn makes everyone, the boys included, much happier! Going to work makes me feel like I appreciate them more when I come home at the end of the day, or on my days off. I suppose some people can pull of the stay-home-mom thing well, but I have to admit, I think I like being the working mom much more! I'm so grateful for the time I was able to be with them as babies, but I'm also incredibly thankful for the opportunity to go back to work. It reminds me that I do have my own personality! I'm not just Elijah & AJ's mom; I'm Marlana! - a mid twenties wife, mom, student (almost graduate!), slightly hyper, intellectual bad ass (you could say nerd, but I like intellectual bad ass instead).

Upcoming BLOGIVERSARY!

Yay! I'm having my 3 year blogiversary in a few days!

I have a giveaway planned!!!!

More details to come after work today. :)

Oh, and in case you all are wondering... my gimpy finger has finally recovered. The finger nail still looks nasty, but at least I can finally type again!

Gimpy finger

I'll be on a posting hold for a few days... and this is why! Never get your finger caught in your security mail box.

At least it isn't my texting thumbs, right?!