Quiet time

How does one make the time for inner reflection? Perhaps time for meditation? Simply time to reflect upon the day? Where do you even begin?

Working full time and raising a family leaves, I'm sure, all of us asking these questions.  I've been at my job a year and a half and I've yet to find a way to find the balance.  Maybe this is something we all constantly battle... finding the time for your pleasure. Going further, the deeper question that is probing at me tonight is: what happens when we become complacent? Is this how people get "stuck in a rut"? Do people slowly accept that they can never find the proper balance in life, thus leading to the complacent life?  I'm not saying complacency is a bad thing; I'm sure it is fine for some.  However, my conundrum is that I still have so much more I want to do.  My list could go on for quite a while of all the things I'm constantly trying to find the balance between.  What seems to notoriously happen is instead of achieving, or at least working towards these ambitions, I become overwhelmed by "I can't find the time" syndrome, and everything seems to slip away.

I've always hated the excuse, "I can't find the time," because deep down I know it is just that - an excuse. Instead I revamp my wording to a little more honesty - I haven't made the time, and to be a little more honest, I don't know how to make the time. Apparently time management is not my forte. Sure, when it comes to the family I am incredibly prompt and manage to get everywhere early, but when it comes to my own goals, I don't know where to start. I come home from work and of course I'm exhausted.  Where do I even begin finding the energy to do all that I'd like to do?  Worse off, if I don't make the time, am I just going to fall into that terrible place of complacency.

I don't want to look back on life and say, "Coulda shoulda woulda."  I don't want people to look at me and say, "She had so much potential." What I want is people to look at me and say, "She's going places."

Maybe the place to start is with the Law of Attraction mentality. I need to keep telling myself I will achieve my goals, and tell myself that each day I will be give myself time for inner reflection or work on my goals.  Perhaps that has been the problem all along is allowing negative thoughts to penetrate my mind when really they must be filled with good blissful thoughts to achieve the goals I'd like to achieve.

Those who are reading-- how/what/where/when do you find time to reflect on the day, to work towards your own goals?

Where's my baby?!

I have a question I think all parents can relate to... how did my little Elijah Anthony go from:

this

to this

It sounds so... typical. What happened to my baby? When did he turn from that little swaddled up baby burrito to this thoughtful, funny, smart little boy. I'm having a hard time believing that in just three weeks my lil baby boy will be turning four years old. FOUR! FOUR I TELL YOU, FOUR YEARS OLD!! It sounds so OLD. And THEN, after his birthday, AJ's birthday will be just around the corner in August, and he'll be three years old.

I did a little photo shoot with Elijah for his 4th Birthday "E-vite" (sorry kid, I didn't plan well and ran out of time for us do to custom invitations... you'll survive!) When I stepped back and uploaded the photos, I stared and said, "This can't be my kid!" This kid... is well, a kid, not a little baby, not a little toddler.

As for birthday theme. We went back and forth, back and forth. He went from Thomas (which he did last year), to tractors (which AJ had last year), then he toyed with "might machines" (aka, construction trucks, bulldozers, the like) and monster trucks. I finally took him to Target and we walked down the invitations and party aisle and he picked: balloons. Yup. Just simple party balloon theme. We found regular invitations with balloons on them, plates, table cloths, and even Evites with balloons. I can't tell you how thrilled I was off this! Simple balloons means it was a bit cheaper than some of the other mainstream character themes. That's my boy. Already learning how to be frugal just like his parents.

On another note... I was catching up on cutting out my coupons today (I feel behind, EEK! and any avid couponer knows there is nothing lousier than falling behind on cutting your coupons!)... and I stumbled across this:

Take a lookie. Just examine... it's like "What's wrong with this picture?"

I'll give you a hint. Since when are there 31 days in June?

COME ON PEOPLE!!!

Although it still doesn't quite match the worst spelling errors I've ever seen on the following picture:

This was on a crossbow my husband bought. Come now company... do you not have anyone to proof read?

Finally, I can proudly say I have been doing my Wii Fit almost every day this week. Yesterday I didn't, only because we went to a friend's house in the evening for dinner and stayed until close to 10 pm. But every time I've done at least 30 minutes! Tonight when I was going through my routine I noticed I really do feel stronger!

Finally, I have a couple more days left of my May off until I start another class. Yippee. Gag me. Thankfully I have June on, and then July off again. I'm NOT looking forward to this next class though. Something about research and some other nonsense that's a requirement for ALL students of National, not just English majors. Blech. Oh well, it is just takes me one step closer to my degree... I'm somewhere around 4 classes or so left! (giddy squeal!)

Blog Hop!

When life gives you lemons...

When life gives you lemons, instead of making lemonade, I'd usually like to throw them at the wall. Perhaps I'm passive aggressive. Or just aggressive.

What do you do when "life gives you lemons"? What do you do when they give you lemons for years and years? It wears me down, I tell you. I try to remind myself that God has his reasons for everything, and sometimes, even in our most trying days, he is teaching us lessons.

I won't dive into the boring details of the past few years of my life. We've had a few surprises, or unexpected turns if you will. I've lost my way off the path and struggle to find it again. To sum up, we were at the forefront of this economic collapse of 2008. We were the first to get hit because we moved literally within a month of the "housing bubble burst," which of course lead to a huge economic downfall. In this house, we still haven't fully recovered. Anyone else stuck in the same boat, or sinking boat I should say? I feel like one of those people who were on the Titanic when it sank. I stood there in denial, "Nope. It'll be fine. It's unsinkable. Nothing bad has happened to me, why should it happen to me now?" Unsinkable my arse. Boy was I wrong. I'm sure you can guess that I was one of the dummies who didn't even bother looking for a lifeboat... because, after all... this ship is unsinkable! Now you can just picture me stuck in the ocean trying to swim my way to safety. Three years of swimming. I'm exhausted.

However, three years of swimming makes me think. It made me stronger (after all, wouldn't you be strong if you swam for your life every day?), it gives me lots of time of reflection. It's made me pretty humble. And, to be quite frank, I do sit here and as the waves are going by, and cursing the unsinkable ship... those are on my bad days. But that which doesn't kill you makes you stronger, right? This evening I had to remind myself of that. Going back to the Titanic imagery, I tell you, we weren't prepared for collapse. We were one of those type of people walking with our head in the sand thinking all will work out. Rough times makes you reevaluate life though. If it weren't for falling flat on my (ahem, you know), I would have never learned how to properly manage and budget money. I would have probably never learned how to live life without credit cards. I would have never really learned how to REALLY bargain shop. I'd still be there "keeping up with the Joneses." I thought about my day earlier and what I did. Nothing eventful, I just went to the store and picked up a few items and grocery items. I looked for the sales, I used my coupons, and I got some sweet scores.

I still curse the wind on some days. But then I remember... look how far I have come. Look how far we have come as a family. It sucks being stuck in the middle of the "financial collapse," don't get me wrong, but I recognize sometimes you need to start from scratch. Houses won't stand long on shoddy foundations... but if it is built on a solid foundation, it will stand.

I suppose we've just torn down our house and are rebuilding on a solid foundation.

I'm building up those muscles swimming for life.

I'm shaking my fist at that stupid Titanic.

I "just keep swimming, just keep swimming."

Onward!

Goal Update, day 2:

Goal 1: Fly Lady Baby Steps

"Get Dressed to Lace Up Shoes"

My apologies for looking so serious. It's hard to concentrate on taking a photo from your camera phone!

(By the way, Fly Lady, I don't do lace up shoes unless it matches the outfit. Sorry, just ain't happenin'!)

Oh, and I got new glasses. Me likey likey!

Goal 2: Wii Fit

37 minutes!

I was totally going to take a picture of the screen. I forgot. So sue me! ;)

Goal 1: CHECK

Goal2: CHECK

Setting goals

I must admit... I'm not a goal keeper. In fact, I'm pretty awful at it. I've tried to remember if I ever was good at keeping goals, or have I always been the type to lose track?

It feels like way back-in-the-day I was good at keeping my goals. I'd follow through with things; my mind was clearly focused; I said I was gonna do this, and I did. I could totally be imagining this. Albeit, I've always been a bit of a procrastinator. Maybe I've never been good at this whole goal keeping thing?

Then, throw kids into the mix, and it all goes down hill. I call it the Mom Brain. It starts in pregnancy when your hormones go out of whack, it interferes with your memory and brain cells, and in my humble opinion, I swear it kills the brain cells!! I thought after I had a baby my brain cells would return. They'd come out from hiding and return to their regularly scheduled programming.

RIGHT? RIGHT??

Uhm, no.

Here I am, nearly four years later, that means four years of not a full night sleep (that's right, my youngest STILL does not sleep through the night), and all this sleep deprivation, the chaos of an almost-four-year-old and an almost-three-year-old little tornadoes that plow through the house every day leaves me completely absent minded.

I start something, a kid cries, they whine, they bicker, they need help with this-that-and-the-other, and I never finish what I started. Example: that nicely folded laundry sits in the basket and ends up NOT put away. It's incredibly frustrating. I don't want to be like an absent minded nutty professor... and yet, here I am!

As in famous "What About Bob" fashion, I'm constantly reminding myself...

BABY STEPS

I must remind myself I don't need to conquer it all at once, it takes time to regain your sanity after two children VERY close in age, and as crazy as this sounds... it has taken me four years to figure out how to roll with the punches that life gives. It's a constant learning process, at least for me!

On my list of things I never follow through on... FlyLady

I've improved by leaps and bounds with help from FlyLady. She too has a "baby step" method of things. In the almost three years I've followed this site, I've never totally made it through the 30 day baby steps. I'd start, stop, start again, stop... and it goes on.

Working out falls into this downfall category too. I have Wii Fit Plus. It's awesome. It's fun. I totally love it. Now WHY do I not stick with it? Who knows.

Now here's my plan... to help hold myself accountable for these other things (the Fly Lady baby steps and working out on the Wii), I'm going to share some of it here on my blog... (PROCRASTINATORS UNITE!)

I also hope I'm not being too ambitious.

Goal 1: Accomplish Fly Lady's Baby Steps

Baby Step 1 is to Shine Your Sink.

Now, my house isn't a wreck. Fly Lady has helped me from it getting totally out of control. However, to be honest, I want a home that looks like Better Homes & Garden! Really, it'll probably never happen with two young kids... but one can dream right? And along the way I need assistance reminding me of those little "hot spots," clutter zones, or forgotten cleaning areas to keep track of. Hellllo Fly Lady!

Before

After!

Look at that shine! (Are you hearing Billy Mayes in one of his Oxi Clean or Orange Glo commercials? I am!)

Goal 2: Work out every day with the Wii Fit

I'm not stressing about my weight. I did set a goal to lose about 5 lbs on the Wii Fit, but I'm not totally worried about it. My goal is I just want to FEEL FIT again. I was always a very active person. I also played softball from 6 years old until 15 years old, and I danced from 7 or 8 years old until I was nearly 18 years old. After that, I've been at a loss and always go in waves of working out. My goal here: tone up, shape up, and try to get rid of that baby kangaroo pouch too!

The Wii Fit told me I worked out for 53 minutes today AND yesterday! Go me!

Therefore:

Goal 1: CHECK!

Goal 2: CHECK!